So my co-author has a style of suggesting we just cut things out if they're not good. It's actually an excellent rule (so excellent we've dubbed it Maggie's Rule). It's amazing how many times you have those sentences that just don't flow right, and if you delete them, it makes the paragraph stronger than if you'd tried to fix it!
When in doubt, take it out.
I have more packrat-ish and idea-hoarding tendencies, so my rule naturally tends to be more "If it's OK, it can stay."
Can make editing interesting sometimes! Really, Maggie's Rule is better than mine...